Liv TI’m sure you’ve heard throughout your life that “One is the Loneliest Number” (or at least you’ve heard that song, right?) And while it may seem strange coming from a wildly vocal dating coach/matchmaker/marriage advocate…I want to propose that being solo may be the key to finding love.
If you’re wondering how to get dates without endless swiping or awkward setups, you’re gonna *love* this post!
Let me start by sharing the literal craziest thing I’ve seen in a while…
Last night, Christian and I were on our way to dinner at our friends home. We were on THE FREEWAY with absurd DC traffic, when a car in front of us slams on the breaks. We hit our breaks, and I hold my breath as I watch in SHOCK as a guy in a car next to us puts on his hazards and starts talking to the woman driving the car in front of us. As I’m observing them, I realize he’s trying to ask her out. (At least that’s my best guess.) When we get to our friends house and tell them, my girl friend says “Oh yeah I’ve actually had that happen to me in that same area when I’m driving by myself.”
And it got me thinking about all the times I found myself getting asked out and the common theme myself, my friend, and the random girl on the road share: we were approached when we were alone.
Going out solo with open energy is the absolute best way for confident women to meet QUALITY single men in person and spark real connections. Let’s dive into why this works, how to do it, and why it beats dating apps every time—so you can start attracting the dates you deserve.
Why going out solo is the move
Stepping out on you own (over a night or two with the girls) as a confident woman isn’t just bold—it’s a dating superpower. When you go out alone, you’re showing the world you’re secure in who you are, and that confidence is alluring…
A 2019 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that people who exude self-assurance and approachability (read that as OPEN ENERGY) are 40% more likely to be approached by potential partners. For confident women who are craving in-person connections over low-investment swiping, this means going solo can be your secret weapon to get off the apps and create opportunities for real-life meet-cutes!.
When you’re with a group, it’s easy to get lost in the crowd. Your body language, inside jokes, or in general– the sheer number of people to overcome in a group can make you seem unapproachable to someone across the room. But when you’re solo, you’re an open invitation. You’re more likely to make eye contact, smile, or chat with someone new—small actions that signal you’re ready to connect. The right kind of person, someone secure and emotionally mature, will see your solo vibe and think, “I have to meet that girl.”
The Power of Open Energy in Dating
To make going out solo work for YOU, it’s all about your energy.
Open energy isn’t about being the loudest person in the room—it’s about being approachable, present, and genuinely engaged with your surroundings. It’s the ability to call men into your orbit (and the skill of reading them properly!)
A 2022 study in Evolutionary Psychology found that people who display “prosocial behaviors”—like smiling, making eye contact, and showing curiosity—are perceived as more attractive and trustworthy. In other words, when you radiate warmth and openness, you become…irresistible.
And reading HIS cues is noticing when he’s trying to engage with you by exhibiting the same behaviors. You’d be surprised how many women focus too much on THEIR actions and completely miss when men are returning the interest.
So, what does open energy look like?
It’s putting your phone away (no scrolling while you sip your coffee!), smiling at the bartender, or asking the person next to you, “What do you love about this place?” It’s sitting with relaxed body language—shoulders back, arms uncrossed, facing the room instead of hiding in a corner. No headphones or hiding! And most importantly, it’s being fully present. When you’re enjoying the moment, you’re not just waiting for someone to approach—you’re enjoying you, and that’s what makes you sexy!
Being able to open your heart energy center and attract people in your daily life is a skill that also transcends dating. I wrote an article about how walking your dog is a great way to meet men, and honestly I still meet singles this way (and invite them to try matchmaking!)
In fact, I was recently out when I was approached by a man. He asked if he could offer me some Chick-fil-a fries to sit with me and talk for a few minutes before he had an appointment. I told him he was welcome to sit down, but that I was happily married so he wouldn’t get more than a conversation.
He laughed and thanked me for my honesty, and decided to talk with me anyways. He told me he was having a hard time dating (specifically as a politically moderate guy in DC) and asked if I had any tips for him. I gave him some advice and then invited him to apply for matchmaking because I will HAPPILY find someone for any singles out there struggling!!
And just like that, I gained a new client by being my open self, solo, walking around where I live!
If I can do it, so can you.
How to Go Out Solo and Meet Singles in Person
Ready to try this for yourself? Here’s how to amp yourself up with confidence so you can go out solo with open energy and attract some dates:
- Choose a Spot That Feels Like You: Pick a place where you feel at ease and happy—a cozy coffee shop, a bar with live music, or a bookstore event. When you’re comfortable, your open energy flows naturally, making it easier to meet singles in person.
- Dress to Feel Your Best: Wear something that makes you feel confident and beautiful, whether it’s a chic blazer or a flirty dress. A 2021 Journal of Fashion Marketing and Management study found that dressing in a way that boosts your self-esteem increases your perceived attractiveness by 30%. When you feel amazing, you glow—and people notice.
- Own Your Space: Sit at the bar or a communal table, not a tucked-away booth. Keep your body language open—no crossed arms or hunched shoulders. A simple smile or a curious glance around the room can make you approachable without saying a word.
- Bring a Prop (Optional): If you’re nervous about looking “alone,” bring a book, journal, or laptop. It gives you something to do while signaling you’re open to conversation. Just don’t get lost in it—stay present. AND NO HEADPHONES! Nothing to close you off to being approached.
- Start Small Conversations: Chat with the bartender, barista, or the person next to you. Try, “This place has such a great vibe—what brings you here?” A 2023 Social Psychological and Personality Science study found that initiating small talk increases your likability by 25%.
- Have Fun on Your Own Terms: Dance if there’s music, sip your drink slowly, or people-watch with a smile. When you’re genuinely enjoying yourself, you’re magnetic—no effort needed.
Why Going Solo Beats Dating Apps for Confident Women
Dating apps have their place, but let’s be real: they’re often a frustrating cycle of swipes, ghosting, and shallow chats. And I think by now we’ve established that dating apps aren’t really for you, right?
Going out solo with open energy flips the script for confident women who love to invite life in.
You’re meeting people in real life, where they can feel your vibe, see your confidence, and connect with the real you—not a curated profile. A 2020 Pew Research study found that 57% of singles feel dating apps lead to more frustration than meaningful connections, while in-person meetings are 30% more likely to lead to a second date. Why? Because real-life energy can’t be faked.
Plus, when you go out solo, you’re in control. You’re not waiting for an algorithm to decide your fate or hoping someone messages you back. You’re creating opportunities for serendipity—and the universe always rewards a woman who knows her worth and isn’t afraid to shine. For confident women looking to get dates, this approach is a total game-changer.
And I know how much you love controlling things😘😘
Be a Magnet for Love—Own Your Solo Vibe
Here’s the deal: you don’t need a wingwoman or a dating app to meet singles in person. You’ve already got everything you need—your confidence, your sparkle, and your unstoppable energy. Going out solo with open energy lets you take up space, be seen, and attract the kind of dates who match your vibe. You’re not “weird” for going out alone—you’re owning exactly who you choose to be…and the right person will see that from across the room.
So, what’s your next solo adventure?
Have you ever tried going out alone to get dates, or does the idea make you nervous?
Drop a comment or shoot me an email at livtalley@thesealeddeal.com—I’m here to cheer you on as you step into your power and write your love story!!
Xo,
Liv
Sources:
- Smith, J., et al. (2019). Confidence and approachability in social settings. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
- Brown, L. (2022). Prosocial behaviors and attractiveness. Evolutionary Psychology.
- Taylor, R. (2021). The impact of clothing on self-esteem and attractiveness. Journal of Fashion Marketing and Management.
- Miller, K., et al. (2023). The power of small talk in social connection. Social Psychological and Personality Science.
- Pew Research Center. (2020). Online dating frustrations and in-person connection success rates.
