Liv Talley | NYC's Premier Dating Coach and LOVE QUEEN


What Does “Busy” Really Mean?

Communication is key. 

Everyone knows that–even if you don’t practice it or have that skill. You still recognize the importance of it.

And yet, you are surrounded by people and circumstances where it seems like everyone gets ghosted.

It’s an interesting phenomenon, and it’s lead to something even more damaging: assigning intentions to someone else’s actions.

While it would be preferable if everyone said what they feel…maybe the problem is that they do, and you just aren’t listening.

How many different way do you interpret the phrase “I’m busy”?

If you’re interested in a person, and they tell you that they’d like to see you, but they can’t because they are too busy, do you believe them?

Take for instance when they tell you that they have too much going on, then you see Squaw Peak and midnight Denny’s runs on their Insta story.

What does that mean?

Exactly what they said.

If someone tells you that they are busy, believe them. Trust that they are telling you that you aren’t high enough on their list of priorities to see right now.

But if they say they want to see you, believe that, too.

The key phrase is “right now.”

People actually say exactly what they mean more often than you may give them credit for. Unfortunately though, since Utah Valley has taught you to expect a proposal within 3 weeks of meeting someone, you think that any waiting or working for a relationship must mean the Holy Ghost is intervening.

Even if someone isn’t willing to make you a priority this week, (or even in a few!) it doesn’t mean they never are. In fact, if they say they don’t have time for you, that is an opportunity. For YOU.

It’s a chance for you to understand your value, and theirs.

Rather than sitting around waiting for them, make plans. Go out. Try new things and meet new people.

Maybe they finally free up time to spend with you, but you’re already doing something else! That will actually demonstrate to them that you have a life that they have to work to be part of. If they believe that you’ve got nothing better going on than to sit around and wait for them, it doesn’t illustrate you as an attractive person. (Even if you are!)

H*ck, maybe you even meet someone you like better who does want to make you a priority right now.

A key part of attraction is value.

The more you live life and work to become your best self, the more you can contribute to the world in general. And the more value you’ll be able to offer others in their lives.

Remember that relationships are always give-and-take.

And the more you have to offer, the more you can demand, and the stronger your relationship will be.

In the same way that the person you’re interested in is attractive to you because they got into BYU, or owns their own business, or travels all over–they will only be interested in you if you’re equally working hard, studying, or traveling.

So the next time someone tells you that they are busy, take an inventory on your life: what are YOU doing? Who are you working on becoming?

How are you achieving your goals?

You may be surprised to realize how quickly their time opens up for you when you’re not sitting around waiting for them.

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