Liv Talley | NYC's Premier Dating Coach and LOVE QUEEN

Self Love

Single is Just a Season

Hi my love,
Happy Sunday. Today, I just wanted to share a thought with you about what it *really* means to be single. Because in reality, it doesn’t mean that much…
Right now, being single is either over romanticized or over demonized; there’s either the hyper independent, boss babe, “I don’t need anyone” mentality, or the “my whole identity is to get married and have kids.” Neither is true, healthy, or YOU.
You were NOT created to be alone. The realization of your greatest potential is ONLY possible in a companionship.
And you are ALSO created to find enjoyment and purpose individually that you can share with others (a spouse, family, kids, friends.) Not just any companionship will do. And rushing to find someone, for the sake of not being alone, is the worst possible move you could make.
Remember my love: being single is a SEASON of life
And seasons change. As July comes to a close, and the days get shorter—I am reminded of just how temporary all our seasons are…and I felt to remind you of the same.
Upon graduating high school, I felt a pressure to get married ASAP
Upon getting married, I felt an external pressure to start having kids right away
But honestly, I’m glad I’ve taken my time in each season to FULLY experience it and learn about myself inside it. One day the leaves changed colors and my boyfriend proposed! The chapter of my single life closed and I can look back with so much love and happiness for choosing to embrace it while it was there. I did so many incredible things that I couldn’t do if I was married.
Now, I’m choosing to experience every aspect of “newlywed” life before we have kids because I know—this season will too, end. My husband and I are actually about to embark on our season of being digital nomads. We only have this short window where we’re basically free of any responsibilities outside of ourselves, and we’re choosing to run with it while it’s here and available to us. One day we’ll bring tiny humans into the world, and while we still fully intend to travel with kids, it’ll just be different. Not in a bad way, just in a way that we’ll have to learn and be more intentional about than we are required to now.
Living your life by rushing into every next chapter only ever causes you to miss the parts of you that can only be discovered properly in that one season. Yes, those parts of you will still be there and you can explore them in any scenario, but just ALLOWING yourself to be, right where you are, is going to open you to things in a different way than if you’re “forced” to face them. For example: learning how to love pieces of you now VS being forced to accept them in your marriage. The pieces are still there–but by taking the time to discover them on purpose, you bring a whole new version of yourself to your marriage dynamic. Instead of *needing* to create space with your spouse to uncover and embrace things about yourself you tried to hide away, you’ve already integrated those things and bring them OPENLY to be seen by someone else.
I know that might seem like a confusing way to frame that, but what I mean is: marriage will FORCE you to face every part of you. You can make that whole process much, much easier if you have already learned how to accept yourself before you are going to have to do it in order to nurture a healthy relationship.
Whatever season you’re in right now—instead of trying to “escape” it…what would happen if you simply explored and appreciated it? What would shift if you just embraced yourself in THIS moment, while knowing that one day; everything will be different?
“Life is like the seasons” — Jim Rohn. Being single, is just a season. Being single is temporary.
Pause. Make the most of this one.
I promise, the leaves will change eventually and you’ll be glad you took the time to play your heart out of this “summer” (or winter) that you’re in. Everything changes, and so do you. I love you, and I honestly hope you can say the same about yourself.
Xo,
Liv

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