Utah is a thriving metropolitan area where everyone wants to start their own business. And it’s a great market for it.
Did you know Happy Valley has birthed several successful startups like Weave, Podium, Domo, 90% of Instagram Models, and literally every MLM scheme ever conceived?
Living in Silicon Slopes, you’ve probably met an entrepreneur or two. Especially if you’ve ever been to Belmont hot tub.
Now you may be asking: what does business have to do with dating?
Allow me to elaborate…
If you’ve ever spent Spring being pitched by every summer sales bro, you’ve probably felt it. That overwhelming anxiety by HOW MANY lunches at Top Golf or promises of a free Jeep one BYU student can get.
Do you know what I’m talking about?
All that pressure leads to one word which encapsulates the paradigm of dating within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:
President David O. McKay said, “Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God’s greatest gift to man.”
Agency is important. Choices are imperative. We choose how to live, what to be, and who to date.
Be honest: if you’re single, you’re probably spending the majority of your time focusing on the latter. You’re probably tired of Great-Aunt Carol asking you EVERY Thanksgiving when you’re finally going to settle down and bring someone home.
Or your mom keeps dropping not-so-subtle hints about wanting grand-kids before she dies. (Or more likely, she’s just outright asking you for them since you turned 22.)
As a result, you have online dating profiles on Tinder, Bumble, and Mutual.
All these apps connect you with hundreds of singles in a matter of moments. They act as confirmation that you ARE trying to meet someone…
Countless options at your fingertips: help or hindrance?
Let’s take it back to marketing and business…
Barry Schwartz, psychologist and author of The Paradox of Choice, discusses in his book about the negative effect of having too many choices.
“Autonomy and Freedom of choice are critical to our well being, and choice is critical to freedom and autonomy. Nonetheless, though modern Americans have more choice than any group of people ever has before, and thus, presumably, more freedom and autonomy, we don’t seem to be benefiting from it psychologically.”— Ch.5, The Paradox of Choice
When a buyer sees 15 options for the same product, they are less likely to choose any of them. (Like if you go to the grocery store and see 15 different kinds of peanut butter.)
Having too many options will “overload” the consumer and discourage them from deciding between which product to buy. Or if they do make a choice, they’re more likely to be unhappy with their purchase.
On the other hand, if you’re at that mini Walmart off University Pkwy, and all you have to choose from is Jiff, Skippy, or organic, you are 10 times more likely to buy and be satisfied.
I’ll say it again for the kids in the back: 10 TIMES MORE LIKELY TO BUY AND BE SATISFIED WITH YOUR PURCHASE.
Too many options around you?
Provo is generally accepted at the Mecca of eligible LDS singles. On Sunday from 8 am–4 pm, there are over 200 singles wards you can go to. Each one FULL of enough singles to allow you to go on a new date every night for eternity.
Or, if you’re of the mindset that dating in your ward is like “peeing in the pool,” (or you just don’t like your options) you get on those pesky, aforementioned dating apps. Suddenly your dating pool becomes an ocean!
You swipe up on everyone, and if you follow my Dating Profile Guide you’re getting tons of matches.
Which may be your problem. Even something as good as my guide can be used for evil.
The number of eligible people found on dating apps is problematic on its own, according to the psychological aspect of “too many options.” However, the fact that so many people aren’t being picky with their swipes is leading to too many peanut butter brands to choose from.
Do you see that parallel?
In fact, Deseret News places Utah among the worst places to live if you’re single due to the high density of singles in the area.
Where’s the balance?
Dating apps are a great avenue to meet someone. We are blessed to live in an age where it’s so easy to connect with people!
The power to make the apps work FOR YOU comes from being selective. Selective with you you swipe on, and then who you talk to!
When you match with someone, have a real conversation. Talk on the phone. Get a feel for your chemistry before deciding if you want to go on a date.
This will save you time, and it will filter through your options, so you can reach the right person faster. Sometimes you learn that the conversation doesn’t flow in person as it does online. You may learn too late that you guys don’t actually jam as well as you’d hoped.
Value your time and energy enough to determine that by a simple phone call–rather than what could be a lengthy, bad, first date.
In fact, go on fewer first dates.
Don’t match with as many people. Now that I’ve given you the checklist to a quality profile people WANT to match with, look for similar quality.
Invest more in the dates you DO go on, and not only will you appreciate them more, but you’ll get a better ROI (“return on investment” for all you non-entrepreneurs.)
For best results: limit your own options.
And value yourself to limit who gets to spend time with you.