Liv Talley | NYC's Premier Dating Coach and LOVE QUEEN

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Bachelorette Recap Week 6 (Charity)

Hi Bach Babe!!

Hometowns are upon us, and luckily this season is coming to a rapid close. I’ve needed to turn this episode on multiple times to give it enough of my attention to write this blog post. So without further adieu, let’s dive in.

Aaron B:

I thought it was pretty cute that he arranged for them to have a throwback concert from their first date…because that was basically the last time they even interacted, lol. She gave him the first 1:1 date and he rode that as hard as Brayden rode his “first impression rose.” All the way into the ground.

At some point it had to occur to him that there was a reason she never went on another date with him, right? Was it a shock that he was the one sent home?

PRO TIP: if you’re chasing after someone who is prioritizing *literally* everyone else above you: move on.

Him professing his love for her felt like a Hail Mary, and I predict he’ll use this rejection as his attention ticket all throughout Paradise.

JOEY: 

Their tennis date get interupted by Joey’s uncle, who takes it upon himself to stir up some uncertainty in Charity about Joey’s sincerity. I know this is unpopular, but speaking from personal experience, he actually might be the real MVP for that. If Joey really is being dishonest (albeit if he is, I’d guess it’s unconscious) and being whoever he thinks Charity wants him to be, that is actually saving BOTH of them from a miserable relationship.

It might seem great in the beginning, and it might seem like she’s getting everything she wants–and he might think Charity is everything he wants–but this dynamic WILL fall apart eventually.

You can only be who someone else wants you to be for so long. Psychologically, someone can keep this up for about 9 months. And then like the flip of a light switch, you’ll be compelled to be who you really are, and you’ll be resentful of your partner for not seeing you.

People pleasing is self-abandonment, and it will never get what you want in the long run. Eventually, you’re going to want to be who you want to be. And you’re going to want your partner to want you as you are! But if you’ve been putting on a front in order to “get” them, you’ve built a relationship on false pretenses.

MAYBE his uncle is wrong though and this was just for drama. My prediction is that he goes home next week.

XAVIER:

Honestly, I think Xavier is so sweet, but absolutely not ready for marriage. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: I think he has a codependent idea of a relationship, and I hope he has a few girlfriends that he can learn from and grow with before he decides to get married.

I absolutely think he will make a great husband one day–but I think he has to learn boundaries and gain some emotional maturity before doing so.

And the knitting thing is charming…but I KNOW there’s more to him. And I wish we could have seen more of that. I bet he’s a lot more fun than we’re seeing on screen.

DOTUN:

This works. His fam was sweet, and they seem like they just fit together.

While it’s true that when you marry someone, you aren’t marrying their family–finding someone that you get along so well with AND getting along with their fam is such a huge win. I love my in-laws, and I have to say how un-dramatic holidays are with them. Plus my husband and I are traveling with his parents for several weeks in the fall, (as we did with my parents last year,) and we’re all looking forward to it. 10/10 would recommend a positive in-law dynamic.

I’m sorry I don’t have more interesting takes for this episode. Or season. I’m pretty sure they launched The Golden Bachelor to try to hit a new demographic entirely for this show to save it because it is hemorrhaging views.

This platform is overall, not conducive for building a real relationship, and even the contrived drama is getting too predictable and formulaic for fans to continue watching.

Personally, I stopped watching this show for several years. I started again with Gabbi and Rachel, and I can’t say I’ll watch any more seasons of this franchise.

That being said…WHAT ARE YOU FAVE DATING SHOWS?!

I know there are a million out there, and I will ABSOLUTELY do a breakdown of the next season of Love is Blind–because that one I love. Let me know which ones you watch and want to get analyzed by a professional dating coach.

Finally…do you want to be part of one?!

Yes, I am in the process of developing MY OWN dating show, that is focused on *healthy* relationship building, genuine conversations/conflict resolution, and generally what real love looks like.

If you’re interested, I am specifically looking for 3-4 LDS sisters (BIOLOGICAL SISTERS ALL FROM ONE FAMILY) to feature for the first season! Feel free to send me an email: livtalley@thesealeddeal.com if you/your sisters are all single and want to be part of the upcoming project!

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