Liv TDating has a new third wheel: Artificial Intelligence
What used to be two people meeting for drinks is now three: you, your match, and an algorithm quietly deciding whether you’re “compatible.” I find it a bit ironic that we were sold “the internet” as a way of connecting with each other, globally…and now it seems to be the very thing keeping us isolated. From divisive political rhetoric to AI chatbots, it seems like we’re getting further from other humans than ever. We’re being manipulated into online affairs while neglecting loved ones at home. And while I support advancing society, when it comes to our relationships, it’s time to cut out the devices and get back to what’s real.
In 2025, AI has become a central player in modern dating.
From swipe-sorting algorithms to chatbots that ghostwrite messages for you, we’re letting machines steer our most intimate connections.
On the surface, that sounds like it could be efficient. Who doesn’t want love on demand, or to dish out rejection without the sting?
But is efficiency WORTH losing what makes the human experience worth living? What happens to us as a society when we sacrifice true connection for the artificial?
AI is Optimized for Engagement, Not Love
Dating apps are built to keep you swiping — not settling down. The A.I. that’s been built into these apps doesn’t care if you meet your soulmate; it cares if you spend more hours on the app. At a recent conference, industry expert Mark Brooks shared that the majority of dating apps do in fact, work AGAINST their users.
He also shared that he is certain by 2030, 50% of people will have an AI “best friend” or companion. That’s only 5 years from now! But when specifically asked, 76% of singles would like to REJECT the use of AI for online dating: valuing real, human interactions instead.
Translation? The algorithm is withholding many of your best matches behind a paywall, or drip-feeding them to keep you hooked. It’s gamified romance: and you’re the product, not the prize.
Now obviously, I don’t have a problem with businesses making money. I charge for my services. But even with a free database that’s open to join (by invite only) at Maclynn, we are CLEAR that you cannot expect to connect with dozens, let alone HUNDREDS of singles with a free service. We communicate that you may never meet anyone, and the only way to guarantee dates, is to become a paying client.
I think the pretense is becoming murkier with dating apps, and I’m not a fan of INTENTIONALLY sabotaging your consumers. (As I believe dating apps are doing now.)
Can you still meet someone on the apps? Sure. It definitely still happens. My point is that it’s harder now than it’s ever been, and AI is directly responsible for that.
If you pay to become a client with me, I don’t WANT you to pay me indefinitely and stay single.
I charge a premium with my coaching packages, because my clients on AVERAGE meet the love of their life within the first 3-6 months of working with me privately. You’re paying to save YEARS of heartache, bad dates, and feelings of hopelessness…and what you gain? Believing in love again & actually find it (in record time.)
I’m the coach you hire when you’re ready to stop giving in to all your BS drama and GET your happily ever after. Finally. (And you can find available packages on THIS page!)
AI Creates “Perfect” Partners That Don’t Exist
AI tools can now generate perfect bios, flawless pictures, and “just right” messages to send. The problem? Reality rarely lives up to perfection. Maybe you’ve experienced matching with someone and getting swept away in the conversations over chat…just to meet them in person and realize their entire personality was outsourced to ChatGPT.
The result: disappointment, disillusionment, and another notch in the “dating is exhausting” belt.
Let me tell you this as clearly as I can: emotionally healthy people DON’T WANT SOMEONE PERFECT. They want YOU. The raw, unfiltered, quirky, wounded you. All of you, who you’ve been, and who you will become. Of course, that doesn’t mean EVERYONE. But the right people want every piece of you. The good, the bad, and the scary.
For me, there was always something a little off-putting when I’d go out with those men that said all the right things. Showering me in flowers, gifts, or romantic gestures, I would usually run from them after 2 dates. Because it just felt…forced. Like they were doing all the things they THOUGHT women in general wanted; rather than staying true to themselves (or better yet, getting to know what I liked, specifically.)
To me, it was boring to go out with the “perfect” guy. I would choose the less conventionally attractive guy that I could verbally spar with, who was intelligent, interesting and that I enjoyed my time with, over the hottie with no personality every time. (Well not EVERY time, I’m just a girl who liked to make out with hot guys sometimes.)
But the truth is, I also didn’t want to have to keep up a pretense of appearing “perfect” either. I didn’t want to have the pressure to not be my fully crazy, feral self.
You know what I mean?
Outsourcing Emotional Risk & Vulnerability
Romance thrives on vulnerability — awkward pauses, goofy jokes, the real-life quirks that make someone unforgettable. AI is smoothing out everyone’s rough edges!
Did you know it’s a trend to have AI write BREAKUP MESSAGES right now?
That is so disturbing to me. Not only that people are teaching themselves to avoid sharing their sincere feelings with someone they’re seeing…but not even giving the other person the COURTESY of facing them to breakup? I’m actually horrified.
Truly, what do you lose by rejecting someone or being rejected, face to face? Ego? Your feelings are hurt? THAT’S WHAT DATING IS. That’s what the human experience is! We are here to feel uncomfortable and to hurt and to love and to grow.
And I understand wanting help with communication skills. I think a LOT of people could benefit from improving the way they approach conflict. Also the way you present yourself can be off-putting–especially as a high-performing/successful single, and it’s a great thing to get help improving your self-image.
That’s the MAJORITY of what I do as a coach: self-concept work.
The problem is that AI can’t help you like an objective human can (who also holds you accountable.)
I went down a bit of the “use AI as my therapist” rabbit hole a while back. For the first couple of interactions, it felt SO validating. And then it became eery. Creepy, even. The over-affirming language it was using–like I could be doing nothing wrong–was not what I needed. I needed real perspective to tell me what I was doing wrong so I could improve. I needed a living person who CARED about me to check-in and ask if I needed help.
AI Can’t Experience People for You
You can have the PERFECT, checklist profile. As a matter of fact, I used to SELL a downloadable PDF on how to craft the perfect dating profile that guaranteed matches.
But at the end of the day, people won’t connect with all of that. They will connect with how you make them feel. Particularly when you’re present together. And if you don’t know how to let your guard down and have people see the real, raw you…all the matches in the world won’t mean a thing.
That’s why I stopped offering the profile checklist. (Also because I genuinely don’t encourage singles to use dating apps.)
Get out there and meet people at the grocery store. Have a run-in with a cutie at your favorite coffee shop. Take your dog for a walk and bump into a hottie with a body in broad daylight. Every time someone in a big city like NYC or DC tells me they don’t know where to meet people, I’m like: HELLO, EVERYWHERE. I speak with wealthy, successful men in the city who tell me they *definitely* still approach women in public. And I just learned–at the AIRPORT is the number one way high-profile men are meeting women (flying first class, of course.)
But okay there is a secret around meeting people anywhere you go. Ready for it? You have to be CALIBRATED for it! You have to set your internal “radio station” to the channel where all the single, available hunnies are at.
Did you know your brain has a “filter” in it that in essence, “turns off” about 90% of the world so you don’t literally die of information overload? And you can change that filter at any moment. This is what I do with my clients. I SHOW THEM what their filter has “turned on” (usually emotionally unavailable people) and we shift it so you literally stop registering people on your dating radar who can’t meet you where you want to be.
This is why my clients get results so consistently, and so fast. When they take what I’m saying seriously and truly let go of the stories that reinforce the WRONG filter, they start seeing people who are exactly what they’re looking for. Everywhere they go.
What changes most, is that instead of looking for people, you start DRAWING PEOPLE TO YOU. There’s a magnetism about you that’s so powerful, you become *irresistible* to the types of people you want to date. And they start seeking you out wherever they can find you!
(Hint: you DO need to get out into the world pretty regularly to be found. These people aren’t going to be able to find you if you only ever go to work and the gym, and stay home.)
When you’re using AI to write your profile, write your messages, or alter your pictures, you’re almost forcing people to date a highlight reel, not you. And if everyone is using AI to appear more “dateable,” then who’s left being real?
So… Where Do We Go From Here?
A.I. might help you match faster, but it’s not helping you love deeper. True intimacy isn’t optimized by code — it’s created in the messy, magical human moments that no algorithm can replicate.
You can cut AI out of your dating experience entirely…and if I’m honest, I would encourage you to do that.
I have often times wondered if MY job (as a dating coach & matchmaker) could be replaced by AI. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have moments of thinking: “why NOT just let dating apps help singles? What is my PURPOSE?!”
But the reality is that matchmaking and other dating services are increasingly becoming more and more popular. Because people CRAVE the personal touch of having someone find, meet, and vet dates on your behalf. People WANT someone to be in their corner, helping them see their blind-spots so they don’t sabotage yet another relationship.
The personal touch is everything. And I LOVE offering it to you through 1:1 coaching OR matchmaking! Please email me: livtalley@thesealeddeal.com to find the best option for your situation.
AND!!! For the first time in years, I’ve also opened up the option for you to book a non-commitment Dating Clarity Consultation. It can be a completely one-off session to help you see your blind spots, with actionable advice to take with you and run with.
Artificial Intelligence can order your groceries, organize your calendar, and write your emails. But when it comes to romance, it’s a terrible matchmaker. SAYS THE MATCHMAKER!
Because love isn’t about optimizing clicks. It’s about choosing someone — flaws and all — and being chosen right back. No algorithm required.
If you’re ready to date like a human (and not an algorithm), let’s talk. Book a private consultation today and learn how to attract love that lasts — no AI filter OR DATING APP required.
Xoxo
With Love,
From Liv
